If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
