therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
