you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
