I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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