So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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