Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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