man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
