it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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