Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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