erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
