i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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