you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
