remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
