Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
