I seem to have left my pride at pride
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
