why didn't you poke me back
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
