I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
