I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
