i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
