playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
