All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
