How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
