i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
