She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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