I just pynch a tree in the face
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
