I think I am morally bankrupt
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
