Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
