Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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