I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
