the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
