I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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