Three words: puerto rican gang bang
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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