I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
