Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
