babies were throwing up all over the place
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
