alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
