Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
