Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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