Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
