I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
