Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Randomize
