D3 body, D1 cock
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
