I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
being pregnant is like rehab
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize