His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
