What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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