yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
