Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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