woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
