So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
