If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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