I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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