maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
