I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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