Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
