so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
not ubering you a puppy
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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