$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize