yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
