Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
