just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize