Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
